REFLECTIONS OF A FATHER ON ICMS LIFE

SEMINARIANS maintain diverse and unique answers as how they entered, while PARENTS uphold unusual causes why they sent or allowed their son to live in the seminary. Their real motives and intentions may be complicated and tough to comprehend as they advocate varied reasons viewed from different perspective, but strangely enough, their defenses are worth listening to and I can’t help but simply grin. It could not be overemphasized the influence and role that parents partake in nurturing the growth and future careers of their children, particularly during those crucial age of high school years. However, at times, I am intrigued and engrossed that I find myself asking: “hey, have they forgotten what the word seminary stands for and how it meant for a boy of youthful age to be under its care or patronage?” That while seminarians and parents gratify and in all heavens, give kudos and high praises to this academe, sometimes l hear horrid complaints, controversies and contradictions that demean its stature as a fine learning institution. Worst, several claims and averments come from ex-seminarians, and their parents as well, who, after graduating, being kicked out or asked to leave ICMS, alleged unsavoury remarks giving the impression that life in this archdiocesan seminary is ‘unhealthy and mysterious’, ‘lousy and dreadful’. Say it’s the natural response and basic instinct for us humans to be bias, prejudicial and judgmental, but what others fail to perceive is that the seminary is not a sanctuary of all goodness, blessedness and holiness, nor the haven of angels and of saints. That while it was conceived, supposedly, to be the training pool for the priestly calling, it has its own share of disgrace, intrigue, malicious imputation, criticism and personalities. Nevertheless, for as long as the Church and the laity support the seminary as a fundamental educational formation for the clergy, it is bound to succeed. Yes, it will thrive and the ICMS tradition of inviolability continues.

One need not live within the confines and realm of the seminary grounds in order to appreciate the honing, guidance, values moral precepts and religious instruction it caters leading towards the sacerdotal vocation. For me, in instance, every time l visited my son, carrying his ironed clothes and an augmentation supply of foodstuffs, an aura of guilt and retrospection made me reminisce my parental responsibilities. Remorsefully, l ponder if l have spent or have been giving my two other older children, the same level of attention, loving care and quality time, in contrast to that l extend to my seminarian-son. lndeed, what l can truly vouch for is, having a son in the seminary now have made me feel a better and more conscientious padre de familia, in the real sense.

So, what makes life inside the seminary worth meaningful, rewarding and fulfilling? Or expressed in another parlance, how can a seminarian, or parents and guardians for that matter, persevere in the seminary? The answer based on my personal analysis is this - the seminarian and parents should possess or, at least, bear in mind, a genuine interest and devotion, for the priestly vocation. By genuine interest and devotion, l mean, even the slightest intention or just an iota of aspiration, not necessarily an obsession or earnest desire, to embrace the priesthood. Absence or lacking thereof, l believe the feeling of altruistic contentment can never be achieved. Pious interests and devotion may be faked and simulated too, but, it will ultimately manifest later on no matter how pretentious both the seminarian and parents.

Adolescent life is spent in the Minor Seminary resulting in the eradication of the flakes from the main, where undesirables are separated from the promising, where good traits are cultivated while the sullied are discarded. Compared to tap water, it is therefore, that during their tenure at the ICMS, their moral, intellectual, emotional, social, physical and spiritual orientation must be founded on solid educational anchors. Lest, seminarians are bound to crumble and prone to be tempted or corrupted at the slightest stroke of enticement and wickedness. Some might not agree with my findings and observations, but based on personal interactions and experiences, l have compiled herewith the “don’t’s” for seminarians and parents. Contemplate and let us all be the judge…
For SEMINARIANS, ICMS,definitely, is not the rightful place or the ideal destination as you may not endure or find solace under the following circumstances or premises:

1. When your entry is simply out of curiosity, obedience and give delight to your parents’ wishes but you do not have any tinge of idea why you should remain;

2. When you plainly want to explore the life “inside” for personal gain, to benefit therefrom only for self-aggrandizement because of the sterling breeding, sophistication and distinct reputation of a seminary life;

3. When you expect a life of comfort, convenience, the luxuries, lavish lifestyle and caprices of your home; or the amenities equal to, if not surpassing, the provisions your family can provide;

4. When your stay is merely for the passion, status symbol, prominence, to be extraordinaire, important, peculiar and different among other boys of your contemporaries;

5. When your sole aspiration is to find solitude, seek refuge, escape from family conflict and bondage or find seclusion from the outside world you despise; and finally,

6. When you don’t have the vocation, an inkling of pursuing the priesthood or an inclination of becoming a devout Catholic but your survival is just the result of the continuous urgings of your beloved ones.

For us, PARENTS, whatever and how noble our intentions may be, sending our son to ICMS may not be worth it and will soon befall to frustrations under the following circumstances or premises:

1. If we are over-protective, too sensitive, pompously pampering and do not let our son decide, act and think for himself in some aspects of his puberty life;

2. lf we make our son totally dependent upon us and stubbornly persuade him to remain even if he could hardly cope up with seminary regulations;

3. lf we delegate much of the parental authority we are supposed to exercise and in lieu thereof, largely rely upon and expect the seminary administrators to do the job for us;

4. lf we assume that being under the tutelage of their formators, we are no longer primarily responsible in their rearing and total development;

5. lf we regard the seminary as a foster home or orphanage;

6. lf we consider sending our son to the seminary will domesticate or “tame” him that will enable us to escape or part with our duty in areas of discipline and Christian formation;

7. lf we are only after the quality of education, prowess of instruction and training but devoid of any intention to support our son’s call, or at least inspire him, to become a servant of God;

8. lf we expect the seminary will provide the same, if not better, conveniences and facilities available in our respective homes;

9. lf we impress upon ourselves, unmindful of the plight and situation of others, failing to recognize that our son lives in a community where equality and parity reigns regardless of our social status and prominence in life;

10. lf we fail to acknowledge that the seminary is a “self-help” foundation where its continued subsistence depends basically upon its benefactors, hence financial constraint is just but a natural distress; and finally,

11. lf we don’t realize that PRIESTS are also bound to commit errors and indiscretions for they are only human and not cartoon superheroes.

My impressions may appear argumentative and presumptous but l don’t expect every one to concur with me…I’ve been there once, as a SEMINARIAN myself, very much familiar with all the pillars, holes and patches of the ICMS edifice, and l am here NOW as a PARENT. These reflections were entirely my own, by then and at present…they didn’t change!!!

(”REFLECTIONS.……” is an excellent opus of an ex-seminarian, now a parent, who goes by the initials LVCD. WE both belong to ICMS Class of 1980.)

I got this article from the Very Rev. Felix A. Costales' friendster account in his blog. Of course with his permission.